Saturday, December 11, 2010


I have survived my first semester in graduate school!
It is over...for now.
I have learned so much and yet the time which has passed is a blurr...
I feel as if I have been an awful blogger, mother, wife, friend...
The creative side of me has been sucked dry.
The cup is empty.
Hopefully, during this season of beauty and hopefulness, 
I can reflect and refill.
To my wonderful, sweet bloggy buddies,
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.
I will try and visit soon!
Your gracious encouragement is so touching.
Breathe in the beauty, my friends of this blessed season.
Do not let the blurr of activity steal your peace.
 Rest in Him.
Wrap yourself in His peace. 


Friday, November 5, 2010


Time certainly has passed since I last visited, old friend. So much has happened. This is the season of football and friends, yet, work and school, continue. Life passes and passes. I work and study... and study and work. Much of the time I feel like a hamster on a wheel. But... I have so much to be thankful for and I am. To be alive is a gift...Tired, yes, but oh, so grateful. Much of my creativity is being poured into graduate school right now. I love it, really, only tonight I'm tired...

Recently, another friend passed into beautiful, sweet and faithful, always smiling. Heaven will be an even happier place now. Oh, the games that will be played! The laughter that will ring out. Some people are just so easy to love and admire...How I hate it when my words can not do justice, my thoughts can not create a tribute worthy enough of one so rare. How blessed we all are to have known her....

I hear the wind outside. It sounds a bit blustery tonight. This is one of my favorite things about fall. As a child I can remember chasing dust devils around the yard and trying hard to get into the middle of them with the leaves swirling around me.  They seemed magically alive with the leaves swirling around and around and around. Hmmm, not unlike my life of late. Yes, I love the fall.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Modest Goals...

Well, however, lame this sounds, 
my goal for this masters level applied statistics course was rather modest. 
My goal? 
To survive... 
Last time I checked, I still have a pulse!!! 

Final, Saturday.
A little bit more coffee and a lot of prayer should do it...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

"Time in a Bottle..."

In the 70's there was a song called "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce..."If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is save every day till eternity passes away just to spend it with you...". Well, I had been secretly saving time, or so I thought. I was going to work and work and work because at the beginning of August school would stop. I would sigh and soak up the long awaited laziness brought on by the sun. Then the best part would be uncorking the bottle of time to share with all the best people in the world...ahhh...That is until August 17th when graduate school would start. 

Well, as they say, the best laid plans of mice and men may indeed fall apart. The week for the long awaited vacation arrived to find me unable to move. The muscle I apparently strained at work several weeks before decided to flare up again. So needless to say the time...the precious time which I had saved in a bottle was spent resting and in physical therapy. Being still was not easy for me. However, I know there was a reason.

This I wrote a month ago...The muscle strain is some better now but not entirely. At times it is miserable. Such a totally frustrating experience. I will, however, from now on have endless empathy for back pain sufferers.

Today, the Sunday before Labor Day was amazing. There was a crispness in the air that hinted at the beauty to come. Graduate school has resumed and I'm surviving statistics for the time being. I spent the day tidying the house, garage, and dragging the fall decorations out of the attic. Thank goodness for attics...
Bring it on, Fall...I'm ready for my favorite time of the year!
Even if I did miss my trip to the beach...

In commemoration of the beach trip that didn't happen I am going to drag out a poem I wrote last year as I languished on the sand...Ahhh

The Tide of Life

The sand is so soft
and warm.
The air is humid
and sticky.
The sights
and sounds of the sea
provide a relaxing
hum to the tide of life.

back and forth,
back and forth.

undulate between
feverish activity,
and contentment.

The ocean looks like glass.
Thick air,
moist with salty spray,
relinquishes a rare breeze.

Children laugh,
waves crash,
and the tide ebbs;
back and forth,
back and forth.

endless time,
ticks by....
The tide of life.

Laziness creeps in;
It is refined
becoming an art form,

Reading, playing, eating,
verbs of pleasure
punctuate our speech.

Nights spent
on the beach
the people,
the sunset,
the surf.

with The Maker,
The Giver...Lover of our souls.

Washing the shore,
Cleaning the sand,
back and forth,
back and forth.

So unending,
so everlasting,
the tide of the Spirit.

the breakers beat the shore.
an isolated firework
and fans across the starry sky.

the swell surges,
back and forth,
back and forth.

So steady,
so dependable,
the tide.

late night
room service,
just for fun.

Early morning
half awake,
awkward, childish bodies
across sofas and beds.
playful banter
back and forth,
back and forth.

So faithful,
so abiding,
the tide of a family.

Embrace this portrait,
these memories,
the sweet filling of the spirit,
painted one season.

back and forth,
back and forth,
back and forth...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

"A Mighty Fortress 'for' our God"...Ode to a Hero

 To have known beauty and greatness, is a gift,
a blessing beyond measure. 
To have shared trials and tears, 
laughter and wisdom, 
joy and prayers is indeed a rare treasure.

Thank you God, for these moments and memories
of a passion so pure and so bold;
Kindled of a sojourner who traveled far with the light,
insisting God's love be told.

 Inconceivable the loss of one held so dear,
Incomprehensible and yet, your will?
Sorrows seem to drown us, humanity cries,
but God reigns in heaven still.
Yes, God reigns in heaven still.

Comfort those I love who walk through the fire,
Cradle them ever so tenderly tonight.
May they know the love and admiration their lives inspire 
and glimpse the impact of foundations laid beyond human sight.
Yes, glimpse the impact of foundations laid beyond human sight.

"A mighty fortress 'for' our God, a bulwark never failing..."
the life-song of a hero sung strong and low,
wounded and lost souls availing.
Yes, wounded, lost souls availing.

Monday, July 19, 2010


Not exactly...

Yup, that's it...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Where, oh where, has my little (actually fat, sassy, sage, and occasionally cranky) cat gone? Oh where, oh where, can she be..?

The 4th was beautiful and amazing. 
All the young'uns picked out their special fireworks and put on a show. On the 5th I piddled in the yard to my hearts content, jumped on the trampoline, swam and just plain forgot about school, work and everything for a day. Niceeeee. Good times. 

Sadly, our 17 year old cat, Sassy, is missing.
 No sign.
She never leaves our back deck unless it's to go into the front flower bed to sun. 
 This summer has been hard enough without my "catdog" April, now the sage old calico?
The deck and yard will seem empty for sure.

Last year our lab, Honey, died; she was fifteen. On the one hand, what a blessing to have enjoyed her company for so long, on the other hand, my youngest three kiddos have never known the back yard without these faithful friends.

E came into the bedroom last night in the middle of the night convinced he heard Sassy calling. Steve got up and they went outside and checked around one more time. We have checked our whole yard, the woods, and the neighborhood; it is a mystery indeed.

Where's Perry Mason or Matlock when you need them?

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I'm ready for recess!


        Sorry for the lack of posts. Summer school is, well, quick! Midterms have passed and the final is June 28th! Working on my formal paper for this semester and I can not believe that I am saying this but APA format is finally getting a little easier. Ugh! 

       I am in Community Health this semester and the funniest thing is that I didn't realize I am a community health nurse now?! Working at the Center for Pediatric Medicine we see NICU grads to seventeen year olds. Amazing. I have learned so much. 

       OK, so back to the paper...I have decided to write about vaccine controversies. This has actually been a very interesting topic, perhaps I'll share some of the details later. For now, I best get back to work. 

       Last update on school...graduate school here I come!!! Yay! I am Charleston Southern bound and I am so excited! I'll be working on my MSN in Nursing Education starting in August....combining the two things I love nursing and education! 

       Finally, Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there. You are indispensible!!!!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

"God sends His Best to Those Who Leave the Choices Up to Him..." by Perry Tanksley

 I said, "God, I must know
Where you are leading me.
I ask to view Thy plans.
I have a need to see."

He said, "If you must see,
And My plans you must know,
Then you can't walk by faith
And follow where I go."

I said, "Dear God, forgive!
I ask no more to see.
Teach me to walk by faith
That I might walk with Thee."

Below are some quotes from the green pages in Richard Bolles book, What Color Is Your Parachute? 2010. Wonderful reminders that we live for a reason. Our life and breath are gifts...

"You first mission here on earth is to know God, and enjoy Him forever, and to see His hand in all His works..."


"Your second mission here on earth is to do what you can, moment by moment, day by day, step by step, to make this world a better place, following the leading and guidance of God's Spirit within you and around you..."


"Your third mission here on earth is one that is uniquely yours:
to exercise the talent that you particularly came to earth to use - your greatest gift, which you most delight to use, in the place or settings that God has caused to appeal to you the most, and for the purposes that God most needs to have done in the world."


Bolles goes on to state that, "God gives us each a unique talent that only we can perform, He guides us toward this talent, which He has lodged in us, through our hearts. This talent usually gives us the greatest pleasure while exercising it and it is usually the one that, when we use it, causes us to lose all sense of time!"

       Wow! I have done that...I have been so involved in moments at work that I lost all sense of time, while at the moment felt incredible peace and satisfaction. I am working, but there is a sense of ultimate fulfillment and sheer joy. A knowledge that for that moment in time, I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to be doing. It reminds me of the Bible verse in Esther chapter four, verse fourteen, " And who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?" For such a time as this, indeed...
May we all be so blessed...

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Hanging in there...Random thoughts...

I thought about calling this 'Letters to my World.'
It's a pretty random piece that I felt compelled to write,
for some unknown reason.
So maybe somebody, somewhere needs this...

I been so busy of late it seems I scarcely have had time to tell the people in my life how much I love them and appreciate them. 
How much I love them, as much for their similarities, as I do for their differences.

Life is busy. 
But amongst the moments of turmoil, when it seems as if we hardly have time to breathe.
Please know each of you are always in my heart and prayers. 
I am blessed.

 So today, I want to throw some random thoughts into the wild, blue yonder.

life is hard. 
It just is.
We can thank Adam and Eve for this fact.

we all make mistakes. 
We just do.
We can also thank Adam and Eve
and God's gift of a free will for this fact.

and most importantly,
we are not alone!
We can thank God for this fact!

Each of us has been wonderfully created with a purpose, 
a purpose only we can fulfill.
Nothing happens by chance;
Nothing is out of the Father's Hands,
Thank goodness!

Good and bad, 
happy and sad, 
we are held so tightly that we are engraved on the palms of his hands.


Not just the "good" ones of us, 
not just the "holy" ones of us,
for we are all as filthy rags...
God sees us through the veil of Jesus blood,
which makes us perfect; 
and He never lets go!

So in Him I am perfect...
and so are you.
Apart from Him, there is no good thing in me.
Alas, there is not.

So for all my dear friends and family. Hang in there during these tough times. 

During moments of disappointment, 
only those who never try,
never fail...
but at what cost?

Teddy Roosevelt one said, 
"It is not the critic who counts,
Nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena;
Whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
Who strives valiantly...
Who knows the great enthusiasms,
The great devotions,
And spends himself in a worthy cause;

Who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement;
And who, at the worst,
If he fails,
At least fails while daring greatly,
So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls,
Who know neither victory or defeat." 

So may we all have the pleasure of striving valiantly in our lives for something..
May we all have the pleasure of great enthusiasms and great devotions.
And may we all dare greatly...
for of such grand and glorious stuff is life made.
One ordinary life can make an extraordinary difference to someone, somewhere.

During moments of heartache,
remember, this is only the beginning of something much, much better,
that lasts much, much longer... One of my favorite quotes by Peter Marshall reads,

"Those we love are with the Lord,
And the Lord has promised to be with us.
If they are with Him,
And He is with us,
They can not be far away..."

So hang in there!
Whoever you are, 
doing whatever you are doing,
we all cause ripples in the pond of life.
Somewhere your ripple has touched someone, somewhere.
May it be a good one...

And remember...
You are loved,
and appreciated,
and important...

Lastly, I love this photo by Jurvetson.
Look at the mama cat.
She is calm as she looks upon her kitten hanging on for dear life.
The kitten is clearly panic-stricken!
However, Mama Kitty knows what her baby can not.
He or she will land on their feet
and they will be just fine. 
Yes, they will,
just fine...

Sunday, May 2, 2010

" Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it." The Duchess, Alice in Wonderland

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see...
I wonder if I've been changed in the night?
 Let me think.
Was I the same when I got up this morning?
 I almost think I can remember feeling a little different.
But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?
' Ah, that's the great puzzle!"

These quotations are from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. 

Did you know there is a modern day Alice?
Yes, indeed.
She is quite adorable;
her name is S.C. Modern Day Alice.
Shout out to this sweet, southern girl
with a well written and insightful blog called,
 For a Pessimist , I'm pretty Optimistic!

This is a great read for mom's who feel as if they don't recognize their college age daughters anymore!

Who are you and where is my daughter?

 Also, for the college age daughter, living in wonderland,
where everything is vastly different than at home.

"It was much pleasanter at home, when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits."

 I am hooked.
Wonderland never seemed so charming.

Also, don't you love the photo from katmere at Fickr's Creative Commons?
It's graffiti!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Sunday, April 11, 2010


The bees are buzzing, the sun is shining and I'm stuck...studying...
Not a pretty picture!

Friday, April 2, 2010

"The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs." ~ Vance Havner

Deep breath, breathe, 
inhale, exhale,
 try and concentrate,
only 24 more days till this semester ends. 
Step, plod, climb.

Head down,
nose to the grind stone.
I can do this,
I think...
Step, plod, groan.

I can't think of all I have to do and haven't done or
I'll feel buried.
I'll just keep moving one step at a time.
Hopefully one day when I finally look up,
 I'll be there,
Step, plod, climb...

By the way all, 
Happy Easter and God bless you and yours.

Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.  ~Rabindranath Tagore

He has risen;
He has risen indeed!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Hobbits and Silly Old Bears~

 There is a magic in that little world, home; it is a mystic circle that surrounds comforts and virtues never known beyond its hallowed limits.
~ Robert Southey

 I am getting to light like a butterfly in my own home for a few days.
This I love.
I am a homebody.

Once long ago,
as I was complaining about just wanting to get home from an excursion of some kind,
my oldest son exclaimed,
"Mom, you sound just like Bilbo Baggins..."

He was right, of course.
In another world, I am a hobbit.
Not a very beautiful creature but a loyal, steady one.
And just as poor Bilbo was lured away from hearth and home,
I, too, have ventured out
all the while complaining and grumbling
only to find a very grand adventure....
Ok, so now I'm starting to sound like Pooh...
"Oh, bother..."
Well, any way back to the subject at hand....
"Think, think, think..."

I think I am glad for all these trials of late...
(No, I am not trying to play Pollyanna's Glad Game)
If Steve had not lost his job, if we had not needed health insurance, if, if, if...
I would not be back in school,
I would not be working at the Center for Pediatric Medicine,
I would not have met even more amazing people...
and the list could go on and on...

About right now I feel like singing Garth Brook"s song,
Thank God for Unanswered Prayers.
But, not to worry,
you are safe.
I will not.

Suffice it to say, His Word is true,
"All things work for good
(not all things are good but they work for good )
for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Princess of Quite A lot~

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
  ~Mary Engelbreit ~

looking out the window,
watching the cool wind blow,
looking around my house, I feel as if I've been gone...
for quite a while...
Spring is almost here,

As I wander around,
straightening the piles of mess
which have accumulated,
it's funny
it just seems so...

Long ago, my sister in law talked about finding a new normals...
Isn't that just life?
Over and over and over again,
we find new normals.
 If we stop,
we get left behind....

When Steve lost his job,
he found a new normal as Mr Mom.
That must have been excruciating
especially since
 I was less than happy about this change of events...

I was happy before.
I was comfortable before...

I loved being a stay at home wife and mother,
home school teacher and volunteer.
Why, I was a princess, you know.

I still was many of those things,
but now it was different.
Inwardly, I stressed,
I mourned,
I pouted,
and fumed...
I didn't want to change...
and I didn't want things to change at all!

It's funny how often life really doesn't care how I feel.
Apparently, it's not all about me!

 I hasten to add that I believe in a divine plan.
This comforts me tremendously.
 I believe, small as I am,
God has a spot that only I can fill.
And so it seems,
I am still a princess,
just a working one.

I can see His Hand,
in new friends,
in a new vision,
and a plan for the future that never would have happened
had not my life changed,
had not my comfort level and security been shattered completely.

I would not have had to be so rudely awakened had I not been so content,
so comfortable,
so cozy.
Snug as a bug in a rug...

I doubt I will ever like change
but I think I am learning to live with it...
Now, if I can just get a little more settled...
I think I found a new rug...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired." ~Author Unknown

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. " ~Irish Proverb

I hope so; I really do 'cos I'm plum wore out.
plum wore out.

While this semester in school has been very enlightening,
it has also been exhausting!

I have thoroughly enjoyed the professional development portion.
Very eye opening....
( why does there always have to be a but)
an additional eighty hours of clinical 
over and above forty hours of work 
has produced 
a ragged nurse, 
a stressed out student,
a pathetic mother,
an absent wife,
an erractic blogger,
and a woman who is just plain tuckered out.

I have started a new blog
(in all my spare time).
It's for my nursing informatics class but I find it fascinating.
It's called Nurse's Watch

It is a blog devoted to the relevancy of blogging to nursing;
I get to visit all kinds of nursing blogs and try and figure out why nurses blog.
This is oh so fun and enlightening.

So that's about all. 
Bye yall.

"If by gaining knowledge we destroy our health, 
we labour for a thing that will be useless in our hands."
  ~John Locke


Sunday, March 7, 2010

One must ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ~

Thunderous footsteps trample through the house,
  while urgent voices exclaim,

"The ice cream truck is coming!"
"The ice cream truck is coming!"
The familiar tune echos through the air...
Indeed spring must be on the way.

Friday, March 5, 2010

I believe in prayer. It's the best way we have to draw strength from heaven. ~Josephine Baker~


Sweet Jesus, comfort my friends tonight.
Life hangs heavy.
It is so hard.
I am thankful when we know not what to pray
 the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf.
Sweet Jesus, comfort my friends tonight... 

Saturday, February 27, 2010

I Am My Father's Daughter...

 Tonight on the way home from work I called my Dad.
I think of him so often these days.
As a child everyone always said I looked like my Dad.
They were right.
Through the years it has become more and more apparent
I am my father's daughter.
And in the words of Baby Girl,
I am proud of it!

Since I changed jobs last June and now work in a clinic setting,
it has brought me face to face with my Dad's world.
Day after day, numerous things take me back to the days growing up in his office.

My Dad is a Family Practice Physician.
He is 76 years young and still practicing!
He loves his work and the people that fill his life.
He knows everybody!
They mean more to him than a simple doctor patient relationship.
( My dad is the handsome young man on the front row, right end,
not surprisingly beside the pretty lady doc! )

Dad has an awesome sense of humor.
Nothing delights him more than a well planned prank or a well-timed joke.
Yet, he is passionate and intense about justice, excellence, history, and politics.
That explains a lot. My dad is also a loyal soul.
It is his love, devotion, and his respect for the individual and the family that fuels my passion as well. My whole life I have watched as he has cared tirelessly for his community.
To say I admire him is an understatement.

When I was a baby my Dad moved his family to a small rural town and opened his office.
Monday through Saturday he worked in the office...Sunday if needed.
Wednesday afternoons he went golfing or hunting...
if he got off work in time.


Each day after seeing the last patients in the office,
he would go check on his patients in the hospital.
After seeing these patients and charting (goodness knows he has my sympathy now),
he would make house calls....
No, this is not a typo...HOUSE CALLS!

Then he would get up the next day and do it all again...for years on end.
In his spare time he has raised two families.
Suffice it to say, we have shared our dad with our small hometown...
Sometimes this was not always easy; but I sensed then what I know now,
it was the right thing to do.
( Dad is seated and I am standing behind him.)

It would seem as if this work schedule was grueling enough. However, apparently Dad found enough spare time the first twenty years in private practice to deliver babies in his office and at the hospital! We still chuckle when he recalls how my baby sister proudly informed a nurse at the hospital, "My daddy made that baby." Hmmm.... did he now?

He is proud to say he never lost a mom and only one infant was lost to a congenital heart malformation. As a labor and delivery nurse, this record in and of itself, is amazing.


  His small office in the back of the clinic was filled with models of feet, eyes, and hands.
You could take these models apart and see the muscles, veins, and bones inside.
It was wicked cool!

The walls were lined with his diplomas and medical texts. You could open the texts and see the most interesting, incredible and sad pictures of all kinds of disease processes,
again, wicked cool!

To this day a room filled with books , yes, even text books, thrills me.
I love a book lined wall and I love the smell of books .
I feel at home, comforted, and energized by these printed friends....

 There in his office, in this clinic, is where I watched
and learned probably more than I ever realized. Oh, how true, "more is caught than taught." I learned to file charts and look under slides; 3 cc syringes (without the needles, of course,) were my play things. Who could ever forget the drawer in the bottom of the refrigerator filled with Safety Pop Suckers. Yum! As we got older, we made creepy crawlers to give out to the kids who had to get shots.

When we got to eat together as a family,
we were regaled with stories of his youthful, boyish pranks.
Stories about medical school, the psychiatric wards, and surgeries;
nothing was off limits at the table as long as there was a good story in it!
Oh, my Dad can tell a good story!

 However, names of patients were never spoken in our house.
What went to Dr. Bland's Office stayed at Doctor Bland's Office.
His patient's often simply call him Doc.
This humble clinic in this small town is where I learned the most important lessons in life...
Lessons about dignity, respect, family and hard work.

 Tonight, when I called dad we had an awesome conversation.
He was still in the office working.
I filled him in on my new job and he said,
"You love going to work everyday don't you?"
Yes, yes I do...

  He knew I loved going to work everyday because he loves going to work everyday!
Yes, I am my father's daughter.
And I'm proud of it!
Thank you, Dad, for everything.
Happy Birthday!
I love you,

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Shooting Stars...

April, White Kitty, died today.
She was a lanky, stray, semi cross eyed cat that adopted us almost two years ago.
She literally threw herself at our feet,
meowing and purring at a used car lot.
When I put her in the car my son said,
"Dad is going to kill you."
Where upon I responded,
"I can't leave her here to die..."
"Well I could..." 
he responded.
"You could," I questioned?
By now she is between the seats rubbing against us and purring even louder.
"Well... maybe not..."
And that was that.

After we brought her home,
 we took her to the vet only to discover that this ugly, lanky, semi cross eyed cat had feline leukemia.
The vet cautioned us to put her down but I couldn't...
not right then.
She was so vibrant, so unique, so personable, so loving and yet so ethereal.
So we brought the cat who would most likely die home to be loved till the end.
That was two years ago, the year after Mom died.
 Something about this cat who seemed to adore me in particular was comforting,
very comforting.
My mother loved cats, 
and they loved her.
It was as if it was a little heavenly gift was sent to comfort me in a way I could not comfort myself.

White kitty never forgot where she came from.
She was my stalker kitty.
If I was out in the yard, she was right there with me.
Always, always purring.
Always, always in your lap or lazily lounging beside you.
So just as April comforted and supported me,
today we comforted and supported her.
She was like a brief, but beautiful shooting star.
A totally unexpected little bit of fluff that loved, trusted and brought joy to my life.
I will miss her.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Hello, Old Friend...

Yes we are [friends] and I do like to pass the day with you in serious and inconsequential chatter.  I wouldn't mind washing up beside you, dusting beside you, reading the back half of the paper while you read the front.  We are friends and I would miss you, do miss you and think of you very often.  I don't want to lose this happy space where I have found someone who is smart and easy and doesn't bother to check her diary when we arrange to meet.  ~Jeanette Winterson

 Hello, old friend,
so much to say.

I'm sorry I have been away.
Blogging was so much easier when I was anonymous!
Once I connected to Facebook,
I slowly became self conscious,
shy, mortified...

   OK, OK, 
Now all those who know me in the real world stop laughing.
I mean it!

This blog was never about gaining an audience.
It was never about talent.

I, humorously enough, stumbled into blogging
while trying to escape algebra and statistics one day.
It began as a way of talking out loud to myself
to no one in particular...
something I seem to do remarkably well.

Then the avalanche occurred...
The computer died,
school snowballed with exams,
New Years...
One day I noticed I didn't want to post what I had written.
It was silly and trite.
Insecurity swelled.

Nothing I said was of any consequence
and yet people were reading and commenting.
At first, there was no pressure.
Again, I couldn't bring myself to post what I had written!?
I sounded selfish and small.
On and on the battle raged within me with an ever growing list of why not to publish again.

School resumed and oddly enough I am in a nursing technology class.
Wiki's, blogs, Web I decided to revisit my old friend,
keeper of my secrets, devoted listener to all my woes and whining.
Now where can you find a friend like that?
I reread and relived my blog.
It will be a year old in March.
The memories and stories are there.
They are mine
recorded for all
no one to see
and that's OK.
The joys and sorrows,
 thoughts, pictures,
  poetry (bad but none the less mine).
It's all there.
It has become a part of me.

So keyboard ready,
I resume the chatter.

For those who follow,
I appreciate you and I'm sorry.
Welcome back to Mops and Pops Place.
A blog about a middle aged woman finding her way amid
life's ordinary, everyday drama,
all the while hammering out the details on a keyboard.
Anyone is welcome to hitch a ride and tag a long.
I will continue to
throw my thoughts into the wild blue yonder...
like seeds...
for no reason at all!

 No agenda.
No scheme.
No grand plan to rule the world...

What more could an old lady ask for...

 Sorry, I digress...
I won't write that list...
not just yet anyway....

It snowed!