Sunday, September 11, 2016

The wisdom to forgive ...

Yes, alas, we all think we will do it better. 
We are able to see with steely clarity all our parents mistakes and we vow that we will not repeat them. 

Then time passes, as it always does... and the difficulties of living hammers home the lesson that life is not black and white. Sometimes we do our best and it is still not enough. Humility sets in and if we are not careful, self-loathing. Hating ourselves for judging our parents ever so harshly because suddenly our eyes are open to all our own blunders. This is a hard place to be. 

But, let us forgive ourselves. Our parents too went down this same road. They too vowed to 'do it better'. They too realized that it is harder than it looks. They too bowed their heads in shame after they realized that the only person we are fooling is ourselves when we judge others.

It is a wise parent who realizes this and gives the grace needed for the child to find this lesson out on their own. Is it painful? Yes, sadly it is; but it is worth it to see them mature, embrace the good and continue to strive for the better... 

After all, truth be told, we want them to do it better! We ache for them to find the happiness and joy that sometimes eluded us. 

So children forgive your parents, they did the best they could with the life they had. 

And parents cheer your children on and applaud them for improving upon the start we gave them. 

For all too soon, our children will face that sobering moment when they realize that perfection is not attainable.

And at that moment, we have the choice to criticize the foolishness of their youthful ideals or exhibit the grace that comes from having learned the same hard lesson in a now distant time and place with our own bewildered parents. 

So, in this moment of mutual surrender and forgiveness, welcome them to adulthood. 

For, it is here, at the crossroads of childhood and adulthood where we all learned to embrace the good, let go of the bad and inch further toward true unconditional love, grace and humility. 

What more could we want for our children and their families?

d hiott

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