"And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..." Hebrews 12:1

 

I think I must know some of how a marathon runner must feel. 

While I am not and never will be a runner, I have watched as they cross the finish line and collapse in utter exhaustion, 

struggling for breath, 

elated and winded. 

Empty of everything but the joy of a task completed, 

a goal accomplished, 

the dream finally a reality. 

Friday I will cross the finish line. 

I will have my Masters in Nursing Education. The reality has not quite settled upon me yet. 

Though I comprehend it, it still seems far away, 

surreal.

I have kept my head down and my eyes on the path right in front of me for so long, finally I can look up, if I but will...

Lovely...

I admit it, I love beautiful things...

and beautiful words. 

This is a quote from Albert Einstein...

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. 

It is the source of all true art and science. 

He to whom the emotion is a stranger, 

who can no longer pause and stand wrapped in awe, 

is as good as dead; 

his eyes are closed."

Lovely...

Life is hard, but 'pause' to stand in awe,
Keep your eyes and heart open...

Sometimes organizing reveals delicious surprises...tucked away in the recesses of my computer an amazing Pixie...

Browsing the dim back corner

Of a musty antique shop

Opened an old book of poetry

Angels flew out from the pages

I caught the whiff of a soul

The ink seemed fresh as today

Was that voices whispering?

The tree of the paper still grows.

~Pixie Foudre

I love this...sometimes we all just need to be swisked away on angels wings... ;)

Remembering the girl...the perfect gift

'as we all know',
there once was a girl...

blonde ringlets,

curls and bows, 

twirly dresses,

little stubbed toes.

a heart of gold,
a spirit kind,
 tender and sweet
baby girl mine.

lots of kittens,

gerbils too,

Sassy, a frog,

and a fishy blue.

the 'number rock',

close your eyes, swing,

Dad and Columbia,

 a Carolina thing!

a school girl and,

a girl scout true,

an Irish visitor,

 other friends too.

  Barbies,

 American girls,

friendship bracelets, more,

 the mall, holidays,

  the Limited Two store!

'wada' minute Carrie,
no more monster van for you,
a license and a car,
now you're driving too!

high school, track,

  basketball, friends

 newspaper, cheering,

Yellow Jackets win! 

prom, graduation,

and college, oh my!

Time is going faster now,

It is flying by.

Love, marriage,

a home of your own,

But always our little girl,

though time has flown.

It may seem so far away,

but really it was just yesterday...

Happy 25th Birthday to my biggest baby girl...

Remembering the boy...

As I was organizing some saved files, alas, sign of a true nerd, organizing computer files...

I found an e-mail sent to me by my oldest son. 

He sent this to me after reading one of my blog posts written after Memaw and Grandmother died. 

This was a particularly hard time for him, as well. 

He lost his Grandmother and his Honey dog just days before he left for his first year of college. 

I really worried about him then, and still do. Grief is hard. Sometimes we shove it inside to deal with the daily pressures of life. Eventually it will surface. What follows in this post is an e-mail he wrote to me. Oh, how I love that boy...

I logged online today to find another blog written by you. 

It really touched my heart, Mom, and made me think about how hard it must be for you not having Grandmother and Memaw anymore. It made me think about it for the first time in a long time... 

I can't even imagine how it would be if you were not around for me anymore. I love you so much. 

Your words are powerful about 'being there' for your next generation of daughters...

You inspire me. 

I was going to write a comment about it but I couldn't find the words. 

I still can't to be honest. 

'Our House' came on and I know I haven't heard that song in probably ten years,

a long time... 

Then I started listening to the rest of the songs on your playlist. 

Music is amazing, how it can bring back such strong emotions and memories,

so nostalgic. 

I remembered listening to you and dad sing that song to me at bedtime. 

And dad telling me stories about the boys, 'The Boys Story'... 

I remembered playing outside till the sun was fading

and the bell you guys obnoxiously rang for dinner. 

We were rednecks, huh? 

I listened to the 'Hobbit Song'

and remembered my days of fantasy reading, out in the woods till I couldn't read anymore. 

Imagining a world filled with magic,

the world of my home-school days. 

The days where my Honey roamed the broad realms of Middle Earth with me, 

and we never lost a fight. 

 I listened to 'Return to Pooh Corner'

and I remember the days sitting at home with you. Piling up couch cushions and watching American Gladiator,

MacGuyver was always the best then. 

Its amazing how fast I've grown up,

these memories seem like they shouldn't be so long ago... 

I just wanted to thank you for these memories, Mom. 

Memories that are much clearer now... 

I love you.

And I love you, son, very, very much...

Barbie wants her brush back, Pop!

OK,

so I walk in the bedroom to see one Grand sprawled across a chair watching 

"Follow that Bird".

This is one of my all time favorite movies!

Yes, I'm kind of intellectual like that...

only 

to spot the other Grand

hard at work intently combing 'Pops' hair 

with a microscopic, pink, barbie brush. 

Priceless!

Oh, by the way Pop, I hope you're not in a hurry;

with that tool your stylist make take a while. 

The Rules...from one nerd to another...

As I was cleaning out some papers, I came across something that I had put on the refrigerator as the kids became teens. At some point in time, it was put into a pile, then stuffed in a drawer. Now, low and behold it showed up in a stack of memorabilia. I love to read and so often when I find bits of wisdom I tuck them away. Well, I'm going to post it, so I can revisit when in need. This was written by Charles Sykes (thank you Cartoon Characters). I love it and my teens and young adults know I do... This is as relevant now as then.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it.

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you can feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will not make 40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is not real life. Real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. 

As a nerd, rule 11 is my personal favorite ;)

Just around the corner...

As I walked in the door your sweet scent wafted around me,

comforting,

I remember, a soft sweet love, an enduring permanence,

I remember.

As I walked from room to room, a chill slowly permeated my being,

emptiness.

The sweet soul of the home is gone,

 missing.

The things are empty and meaningless without you,

the house is only a house without you.

You are not here,

but I know where you are.

Waiting with a soft, sweet fragrant hug,
Just around the corner.
Someday...

The Way We Were or Will be...

This blog many times chronicles the way we were, 

sometimes it reflects the way we are and occasionally it envisions the way we hope to be.

Right now I am entering the last six months of graduate school. If I survive, in December I will graduate with my MSN in Nursing Education! In the meantime, I been besieged by many troubles and distractions.

Now many of you may or may not believe in the spirit realm, but I do. The troubles and distractions I will not elucidate upon at this time. However, the quiet Power which enables me to continue I praise. It is God's grace, strength, and wisdom which will see me through to the end.

To others who are hanging on, depleted, confused, or hurt I offer this reminder. Our Savior, Jesus, prayed for us, for you and me before He ascended into heaven. He has provided us the Comforter to supply us with everything we need...not everything we think we need.

Take heart dear souls in these tough times. He is in control.

Story of the poem..."The Lord will guide you continually." Isaiah 58:11

 Long ago I wanted to have my second baby in a local birthing center but it seems the infant had a different idea, the baby was breech. We did not know if it was a boy or girl due to this positioning, which of course didn't matter. At this time, however, I wanted this baby to turn so I could go to the birthing center and leave in 24 hours. Instead I faced the very real possibility of a cesarean. I prayed, elevated my hips, everything I could think of...but this baby would not and did not budge. As an experienced labor and delivery nurse, I knew that the closer I got to the due date the odds decreased dramatically that the baby would have room to turn.

Finally we went to the mountains on vacation. I had prayed and prayed when finally it hit me...maybe there was a reason I wasn't supposed to be at the birthing center. It was right across the street from the hospital but God knows everything. While in the mountains I found a poem by Perry Tanksley that I kept for years...God sends His best to those who leave the choices up to Him. I committed at that time to leave the choice up to Him. When I returned home the doctors asked if the baby had turned. I said, "No." Only once had I felt anything unusual. I was crossing the street and literally doubled over with a cramp. It had only lasted a second. Well as it 'turns' out the baby had indeed repositioned herself. I believe that was the beginning of learning to trust and surrender. I have since passed on the poem to our second daughter for her tough times. Her birth and presence in our lives has certainly been a testament to the poem; God does indeed "send His best to those who leave the choices up to Him."

Recently, while Christmas shopping, I found a new and encouraging piece of poetry by Perry Tanksley. As with so many across the country, this Christmas was lean. However, it ended up being one of the most fun! The poem below is called These Days Are Stepping Stones. I selfishly bought it as years before I had purchased the other. God uses many things, people, moments, verses, to remind us of His presence and omnipotence. I so appreciate these reminders that encourage me to rest in His plan. Therefore, take heart America, come what may we are 'held' so tightly in His hands that we are engraved on His palms. Rest there and know that He will never leave you or forsake you. There is a reason. Knowing and believing this is faith. 

These Days Are Stepping Stones

Someday when we look back

On days that seemed unblessed,

We'll see how God used them

To lead us to life's best.

Someday when we look back

On days when things went wrong,

We'll say, That brought us to

The place where we belong.

Someday when home at last -

Safe in Heaven above,

We'll praise God for dark days

As stepping stones of love.