I Don't Go There Any More.....

Sorrow is a complex emotion.

Sometimes, it is just too heavy to carry.

So we put it someplace,

and we leave it there,

for safe keeping,
for a time.

Until we are strong enough to pick it up again.

 Mother died two years ago,

two deep, dark years ago.

My mother in law, Grandmother, died last year.

Where has the time gone?

Where did it slip away to,

like sand between my fingers.

Grandmother was one of ,"The Greatest Generation."

 She was sweet and amazing,

but oh, so strong.

You don't watch and wait through Great Depressions
and World Wars

and emerge weak.

 

She was beautiful, loving, soft and warm;
oh, so comforting...

She was a blessing.

I have not been back to Grandmother's house;

I can't.

In my mind she is still in her favorite chair,

waiting for the football game to begin.
Go Cocks!

If I go and crack the back door

and call her name,

I'll give her just a minute,

then I will see her coming around the corner of the kitchen,

slow but sure.

I keep her there,
in her house,
in her chair.

Life without her will hurt a lot.

I can not pick up this pain right now.
So, I keep her
right there...

I know this is not real;

I know she is not there;

but for now it helps.

And life moves along...

I know when I finally go by the house,

the myth will be shattered.

So I do not go.

No,

I do not go.

Not yet...