Sunday, September 13, 2009

I Don't Go There Any More.....


Sorrow is a complex emotion.
Sometimes, it is just too heavy to carry.
So we put it someplace,
and we leave it there,
for safe keeping,
for a time.
Until we are strong enough to pick it up again.

 Mother died two years ago,
two deep, dark years ago.
My mother in law, Grandmother, died last year.
Where has the time gone?
Where did it slip away to,
like sand between my fingers.

Grandmother was one of ,"The Greatest Generation."
 She was sweet and amazing,
but oh, so strong.
You don't watch and wait through Great Depressions
and World Wars
and emerge weak.

 
She was beautiful, loving, soft and warm;
oh, so comforting...
She was a blessing.


I have not been back to Grandmother's house;
I can't.
In my mind she is still in her favorite chair,
waiting for the football game to begin.
Go Cocks!

If I go and crack the back door
and call her name,
I'll give her just a minute,
then I will see her coming around the corner of the kitchen,
slow but sure.

I keep her there,
in her house,
in her chair.
Life without her will hurt a lot.
I can not pick up this pain right now.
So, I keep her
right there...

I know this is not real;
I know she is not there;
but for now it helps.
And life moves along...

I know when I finally go by the house,
the myth will be shattered.
So I do not go.
No,
I do not go.
Not yet...

9 comments:

  1. Dearest Deanna,
    This post is so beautifully written.
    Bless you and may God comfort you,
    d

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  2. I stumbled on your blog as I was catching up with Pastor Sharon. What you wrote was just beautiful, very moving. And you have a beautiful family.

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  3. Thank you, Barb, nice to meet you. Welcome. :)

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  4. What a beautiful journey through the memories of a lovely Grandmother.

    The picture of you and your family is lovely!

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  5. I lost my maternal, and favorite, grandmother over 47 years ago and I still miss her dearly. Beautiful post.

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  6. Wow this is beautiful. I understand.

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  7. I am so sorry for the sorrow. But so very thankful that you had such wonderful women. Happier still that your children did. What a blessing they have been. And aren't you wise to know it. To cherish it.

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